Relationships: A Blessing Or A Curse

So I have been single for about... 19 and 1/2 years now, wait.. yup, my entire life. And I don't know about anyone else, but I personally struggle with wanting a boyfriend and wanting to stay single. I constantly see couples around and I secretly wish that was me, yet at the same time I think about all of the benefits of being single. How much less drama and stress there is being single versus being in a relationship. Yet I don't think I necessarily want to be single for the rest of my life.

Throughout high school and now in college, I have noticed an abundance of couples. They are everywhere! However, especially in high school, many of these relationships don't last very long. After a few months or a year I see friends of mine devastated after a break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Even when relationships seem to last, after a few years of marriage people get divorced. I understand some divorces are for very good reasons, abusive relationships, etc. But what frustrates me is when people just seem to give up. Their life got a little hard and they didn't "love" each other anymore so they called it quits. If you are just going to give up that easily then don't ever get married because marriage isn't about being in an easy carefree relationship where you never experience any hardships. Marriage is supposed to be when you and another person join forces to conquer all of the difficulties that may come your way, they become your partner in crime, your best friend. And you know what sometimes best friends have fights and they don't always agree on everything, and that's okay. I guess I just feel like if relationships don't tend to last very long nowadays what's the point of being in one. Why waste the time, effort and energy investing yourself in someone and something that isn't going to last?

However, ever since I was a little girl, as I am sure many girls can attest, I have always dreamed and looked forward to my wedding day. Now I'm not the type of girl who wants the whole fairytale wedding with a happily ever after, because I am way too much of a realist.. But I've pictured my friends and family gathered together, an amazing man standing in front of them along side some of his best men, and some of the greatest gals I know standing across from the boys. I have imagined how his facial expression will change as my daddy, with his arm around mine, and I descend down the aisle. Even as I am typing this it makes me smile. I don't expect it to be absolutely perfect but I know it will be our special day, the first day of the rest of our lives.

When I grow up I want to travel the world, or at least live in a different country. I honestly don't care what country it is, however, I really don't want to have to travel or live all by myself. It may sound crazy but that is a definite fear of mine, being completely alone somewhere. Even if it is just a friend, I just don't want to live or travel by myself. 

The idea of traveling the world and living in another country (possibly for the rest of my life.. Peace out USA) sounds amazing to me, however this isn't everyone's cup of tea. I have already encountered people where that thought scares them and it is something they would never even consider doing. As you can probably imagine finding someone who would be up for this hasn't really been the easiest so far. Along with this one kind of important credential for my future boyfriend/spouse, I have a fairly extensive list of standards for this lucky mystery man. A few of them being: having a relationship with Jesus Christ, wanting to live in a different country, and being loyal. Many friends of mine have told me that my standards are too high and that I will never find a guy who can live up to my high standards. However, I disagree. I think my standards are exactly where they need to be. I am in no way expecting a perfect guy to walk through the door and sweep me off my feet, as wonderful as that would be. But I don't want to give my heart to just any ole shmuck off the street who says I'm pretty or that he loves me. "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 This Bible verse holds so much truth. If you give your heart away to everyone who asks for it, you won't have much left for the one who really deserves it. 

It is hard to go through life seeing couples everywhere you look, but as much as I would love to be in a relationship, right now I am okay with being single. I have a lot to focus on, school, work, friends, family, etc. But I know that someday down the road God is going to provide me with someone special. Whoever that may be isn't important right now. I just have to believe that if I focus on Him and His plan for me, the rest will follow. 

Love Always, 

xo Noelle

15 Things My Freshman Year Taught Me

Alright, now that just about everyone is done with school I thought I would share 15 things that I learned this year. This year was my freshman year of college and I loved it! I not only learned a lot academically but I also learned some good life lessons.

1. If you don’t make any friends the first week of school, it is okay! The people that are now some of my best friends I didn't even meet until September and October. It is also okay if you and your roommate don't become BFFs. My roommate and I got along really well but she had her friends and I had mine and it was totally fine!

2. If you don’t know what you want to do with your life yet, that’s okay! You’re not alone. There are TONS of college students that get to college and have no clue what they want to do but after awhile they find something that they love.

3. Don’t think that just because people are in college they are more mature than high schoolers… they aren’t. Especially those freshmen boys.. Now don't get me wrong, some of them are quite mature but at the same time a lot of them aren't.

4. All those habits you thought you were going to kick… nice try. I was definitely planning to eat healthier, work out more and not procrastinate anymore, yeah about that. Now don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to say that if you work really hard at it you can't do it, but it is definitely not easy. I went into it really optimistic, thinking it would be a piece of cake and it was the exact opposite. If you are going to try to kick a habit start with just one and work really hard at it!

5. There is no graceful way to eat salad…. ever. I learned this one the hard way. Now this isn't really a life lesson or anything but it was something I was faced with on a near daily basis. I really like salads but they can be really tricky to eat. And my friends never shied away from reminding me.

6. Never, ever, EVER turn down free food. Throughout the year there are countless opportunities to receive free food and as a poor college student it is some of the best news ever! Especially when you are running out of meals for the week. I remember just before finals the cafeteria offered free breakfast food from 8pm to 10pm. Let's just say most of the school showed up that night. It was pretty tasty :)

7. The phrase “poor college student” is so true! I tried to buy a bottle of water from a vending machine and didn’t have enough money… it was only $1.50. Yeah I know, pathetic right?

8. You will hate everything you came to school for, at least once. As much as you may deny it (but I love my major) you will be up late working on a project or you will have to do some assignment that is stupid and you will question why on earth you chose the major you chose. I know I did, many, many times. But don't worry you'll start loving it again.

9. It is possible to watch a movie every night. My friends and I were not partiers, like at all. So instead we would get together at someones dorm and watch a movie. So yes, there have definitely been times when we have watched a movie every night for a week or so. And no, I am not ashamed.

10. Honesty, no matter how hard it is to say or hear, is ALWAYS the best policy. ALWAYS! No matter what situation you are in it is always better to be honest.

11. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE!!! Even though we all do it anyway. I have gotten so incredibly stressed out this school year as a result of me procrastinating and waiting until the last possible second to start assignments. It is unnecessary stress and it isn't good or healthy. If you can avoid doing this to yourself, I would highly suggest it.

12. Sleep is so incredibly important! Even though it can be fun to stay up late or you need to in order to finish an assignment, which I would know nothing about.... Sleep is important. I ended up staying up until 7:30 in the morning to work on a project and then woke up at 8:30 to finish it. Later that day I ended up getting really sick. Like I'm talking headaches, stomachaches, throwing up, feeling light headed. It was not fun at all.

13. It is 100% okay to cry. For example, during finals week. ESPECIALLY during finals week. There were many times were I would just get so frustrated with an assignment, a professor, work, etc. and I would just sit in my dorm and cry for a few minutes. When things get overwhelming or frustrating, no matter how much we don't want to admit it, crying helps.

14. Being away for so long helps you sort out those worth coming home for and those worth forgetting. It’s sad, but it is true. Unfortunately, I had people in my life back home that just weren't very good friends. Before going to college I thought that it was okay for people who were my "friends" to treat me like that because that is just how it has kind of always been. But once I got to college I realized that that isn't what being a good friend looks like. At all. At college I was blessed with some really amazing friends who have been there for me through a lot of stuff and they have been the best friends anyone could have asked for. Some times you have to get away from a situation to realize that it isn't a healthy relationship. As hard as it may be to let go of those people, sometimes you just have to do what is best for you. I know personally I don't want people in my life who don't treat me well and make me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't think anyone should have people like that in their lives. Instead I want to surround myself with people who really care about me and build me up rather than tear me down.

15. Last but not least, have fun! It is okay to put off homework sometimes and go hang out with friends. Enjoy yourself and have fun, you’re in college for goodness sake! Okay don't tell my mom I said that... She would get mad at me if I put homework off to just hang out with friends. But in all honesty, it is okay to not sit in your room doing homework 24/7. I mean don't get me wrong, DO YOUR HOMEWORK! But don't go to college and only focus on the academics. Join a club, go see a movie, have a sleep over in your best friends dorm, go on late night Walmart runs because you don't know what else to do and Walmart is open all night. Work hard, do your homework, but don't forget to have fun!

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Love Always,

xo Noelle

If I Had Cancer...

Well today was the day. June 6th marked the release of a highly anticipated film based on the incredible book by none other than John Green, The Fault in Our Stars. Having read (and loved) the book, seeing the film was a must. So this afternoon, my sister, mom and I made our way to the theater to see it. I have to say, this film was absolutely wonderful. It was everything I could have asked for in a movie adaptation of a book and then some. It brought characters that were already very real in so many peoples' minds to life. And yes, I cried.

But I don't want this post to be all about how amazing the movie was or how much I liked the book or even how well they brought this book to life.

As I drove away from the theater, after seeing the most anticipated film of the summer, it got me thinking... Since this film was about kids who have cancer, I thought to myself about the idea of cancer, and what it would be like to get it. How would I handle the news? Would I be that inspiring cancer patient that brightens everyones day with my smile and positivity or would I crumble into a depression and never want to leave my house or eat? How might my relationships with my friends and family change? I would like to think that I will be brave, that my relationships will stay the same or even grow stronger. But then I wonder if my relationship with some people would completely disintegrate as a result of them not being able to handle or deal with what I was going through?

Unfortunately, I feel like that last one ends up being the truth of the matter far more often than it should. When I was about 7 years old I had a birthday party and invited some of my friends. One of those invited was a really good friend of mine, she had leukemia and as a result of chemotherapy, lost her hair. I specifically remember one of my other friends at the party asking what was wrong with "that girl over there". I simply smiled and said, "Nothing is wrong with her, she just has cancer and lost her hair". To me it was just that simple, there was nothing wrong with her she just had an illness. However that friend kept her distance from her the rest of the party. I remember not understanding what the big deal was. So what if she doesn't have any hair, she was still a really nice girl and a great friend. I honestly hope that if I were ever to get cancer that people would do what I did. I hope they would look passed an illness and realize that a person doesn't become their cancer or illness. They are still a nice person, a good friend, the same person they were a few months ago when they didn't have cancer.

This isn't the first time I thought about what it would be like if I were to get cancer and how my life would change. But this time especially, I thought not just about the disease or how my relationships with others might change, instead I thought about dying. Don't worry this isn't going to get all morbid and depressing or anything. What I mean by thinking about dying was not the actual act of dying, but rather, the moment of time leading up to that inevitable event.

If I had cancer and knew I was going to die sooner as a result of my cancer would I live my life differently? If so what would I do differently? Would I try to be nicer to people? Tell my friends and family I love them more often? Would I cherish all of the little moments? Go out and experience the world more? Smile more? Laugh more? Hug more?

But why?

Why wait until being close to death or until I potentially get cancer? Why wait until I am dying to live? The things I listed above are things I should be aspiring to do everyday, whether cancerous or cancer free, young or old. This is what I think the main point behind this book is or at least should be. Live each day as if it is your last. Travel to the place you have always wanted to go to. Kiss the person you love. Hug your mom and dad. Do the things you've always wanted to do but don't forget to do the little things along the way. Don't live like you are dying JUST when you may actually be dying, but live that way always. Mr. James Dean had the right idea...

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - James Dean

Love Always,

xo Noelle

Summertime Smoothie

I don't know about you guys but I LOVE smoothies! My love of smoothies is probably mostly due to the fact that I am not a fan of coffee (hot or cold), hot teas, or hot chocolate... I know, I'm weird. So in the winter, summer, or pretty much anytime of the year when I go to coffee shops I get smoothies. Smoothies are especially great right now as it is getting into summer and the days are getting hotter and hotter.

Yesterday evening I was getting kind of hungry, but I didn't want to eat too much to spoil my supper. So I thought I would make myself a little smoothie. It was an amazing smoothie, might I add. Since it was so super tasty, plus easy to make I thought I would share my little recipe with you all.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup water (or milk if that is what you prefer)
• 1 1/2 cups frozen fruit (I used frozen strawberries, mango, and pineapple)
• 1 individual cup of Yoplait Original Strawberry Yogurt
• 3 ice cubes

Instructions:

First, add the water into the blender, putting the water in first makes it easier to blend. Or so I've been told. Next, add the frozen fruit. Then, add the ice cubes. Now top it off with the entire cup of the yogurt. Then go ahead and put the top on and blend it up until it reaches the consistency that you like. I personally like my smoothies really smooth.

Let me know what your favorite summer drink is?

Love Always,

xo Noelle