So I have been single for about... 19 and 1/2 years now, wait.. yup, my entire life. And I don't know about anyone else, but I personally struggle with wanting a boyfriend and wanting to stay single. I constantly see couples around and I secretly wish that was me, yet at the same time I think about all of the benefits of being single. How much less drama and stress there is being single versus being in a relationship. Yet I don't think I necessarily want to be single for the rest of my life.
Throughout high school and now in college, I have noticed an abundance of couples. They are everywhere! However, especially in high school, many of these relationships don't last very long. After a few months or a year I see friends of mine devastated after a break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Even when relationships seem to last, after a few years of marriage people get divorced. I understand some divorces are for very good reasons, abusive relationships, etc. But what frustrates me is when people just seem to give up. Their life got a little hard and they didn't "love" each other anymore so they called it quits. If you are just going to give up that easily then don't ever get married because marriage isn't about being in an easy carefree relationship where you never experience any hardships. Marriage is supposed to be when you and another person join forces to conquer all of the difficulties that may come your way, they become your partner in crime, your best friend. And you know what sometimes best friends have fights and they don't always agree on everything, and that's okay. I guess I just feel like if relationships don't tend to last very long nowadays what's the point of being in one. Why waste the time, effort and energy investing yourself in someone and something that isn't going to last?
However, ever since I was a little girl, as I am sure many girls can attest, I have always dreamed and looked forward to my wedding day. Now I'm not the type of girl who wants the whole fairytale wedding with a happily ever after, because I am way too much of a realist.. But I've pictured my friends and family gathered together, an amazing man standing in front of them along side some of his best men, and some of the greatest gals I know standing across from the boys. I have imagined how his facial expression will change as my daddy, with his arm around mine, and I descend down the aisle. Even as I am typing this it makes me smile. I don't expect it to be absolutely perfect but I know it will be our special day, the first day of the rest of our lives.
When I grow up I want to travel the world, or at least live in a different country. I honestly don't care what country it is, however, I really don't want to have to travel or live all by myself. It may sound crazy but that is a definite fear of mine, being completely alone somewhere. Even if it is just a friend, I just don't want to live or travel by myself.
The idea of traveling the world and living in another country (possibly for the rest of my life.. Peace out USA) sounds amazing to me, however this isn't everyone's cup of tea. I have already encountered people where that thought scares them and it is something they would never even consider doing. As you can probably imagine finding someone who would be up for this hasn't really been the easiest so far. Along with this one kind of important credential for my future boyfriend/spouse, I have a fairly extensive list of standards for this lucky mystery man. A few of them being: having a relationship with Jesus Christ, wanting to live in a different country, and being loyal. Many friends of mine have told me that my standards are too high and that I will never find a guy who can live up to my high standards. However, I disagree. I think my standards are exactly where they need to be. I am in no way expecting a perfect guy to walk through the door and sweep me off my feet, as wonderful as that would be. But I don't want to give my heart to just any ole shmuck off the street who says I'm pretty or that he loves me. "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 This Bible verse holds so much truth. If you give your heart away to everyone who asks for it, you won't have much left for the one who really deserves it.
It is hard to go through life seeing couples everywhere you look, but as much as I would love to be in a relationship, right now I am okay with being single. I have a lot to focus on, school, work, friends, family, etc. But I know that someday down the road God is going to provide me with someone special. Whoever that may be isn't important right now. I just have to believe that if I focus on Him and His plan for me, the rest will follow.
Love Always,
xo Noelle
No comments:
Post a Comment